While most of us really don't care if our PM Balen speaks or not, our old school netas, their jholeys and old mafia media houses and their journos are suffering from hypertension and God knows what hoping to hear something coming out of the PM's mouth before they drop dead! I think Harka and his crew will go bald, pulling their hair out each day and then finally Balen will speak to them or just post a FB status with some hair oil on the side!
And we will be celebrating our 'Republic' Day this Friday and the word is out that our man Balen will not be giving any hawatari boring speeches this time as well. Instead, he has decided to make it a "Presidential' event since the President is our Rastrapati (Country Husband) and he is also the commander-in-chief of the Nepal Army. I think it's the right move to let the President give his hawa-taari boring speech to the VVIPs present in Tundikhel rather than the PM stand for an hour, sweating and making up stuff on how the great Republic has made us all prosperous!
For the past two decades, we have had our PMs acting like they were the new 'Maharajas', accountable to no one except their spouses, kids and cousins and shady contractors and fake byaparis! They always gave speeches reminding us of their party's struggle and sacrifice to make our land a Republic and we should all bow down to them and let them enjoy the piece of the cake and make their near and dear ones prosperous, while we seek better employment opportunities abroad!
Why can't our jholeys and old school media and netas get over the 'traditional' nataks and finally see the light and realize that their 'typewriter' mindset is no longer needed and respected in this age of AI and more? We are happy that our ministers are in the office working rather than cutting ribbons and doling out government funds to their cadres or friends or mistresses or boyfriends or to their thulo ba's son's wife's sister's son!
If we look at the past decade, we only saw our three stooges, Oli, Prachanda and Deuba, our OPD gang promising us the moon every Republic Day. We are still waiting for Oli's ships to dock at Bagmati. We are still waiting for 10,000 MW and US$ 10,000 per capita thing from Prachanda and from Deuba, we are still waiting for zero tolerance on corruption, accountability and transparency. The three of them delivered us nothing while their jholeys made all the dough at our taxpayers' expenses!
I think it's about time our government stopped celebrating our Republic Day, Democracy Day and all other so-called festivals at Tundikhel because we, the people, have to either watch the show behind the railings or maybe on TV while the so-called VVIPs and foreign ambassadors sit on not-so-comfortable chairs and lose a few kilos from the heat from the tin roofs.
Why not host the whole thing at our national stadium and have a carnival-like event around the Ring Road area, like Brazil's? Instead of us doing the Brazilian Samba, we can invite our own 'Samba' baini on a float, waving at us and showing us a few of her football dribbles as well. Let us make it a party and every street and corner hosting a sekuwa thing with tons of booze for those who are old enough to drink and maybe some lemonade for the underage!
We are also tired of the army parades for tons of Tundikhel festivals. Let us be more creative. If we are really a Republic, then we must invite everyone, well, not all 30 million folks but at least have a group represent hundreds of our ethnic ones and let's have a live musical, dance and fun event instead of the same old stuff! This is the 'new new' Nepal not the 'new Nepal' we saw from 2008 to 2025!
And as for the Presidential stuff, it's time we had a cut-off age for the commander-in-chief. Let us not have more than 70 years old as our President and the minimum age should be at least 60 until RSP wins 2/3 of all seats next time. And they can then make it a US-style Presidential thing and we can finally have a minimum age of 35 as in the US, and the maximum age at 65, maybe, which could be our 'Nepali' way of saying, we don't want old boogers wobbling around as if they are going to collapse when they walk less than a hundred meters!
*****
Send your suggestions to vomit @ sukulgunda.com
You can also buy us momo @ http://www.buymemomo.com/sukulgunda
image credit: Ratopati